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Blonde Jokes
This blonde walked into a party store and asked the cashier if he had a hanger or something to unlock her car because she locked her keys in the car. He nodded and handed her a hanger. She thanked him and went outside to set to work. A little while later the cashier decided to check on her and saw her working at it and another blonde in the car was saying "a little to the left...no, a little to the right..."
Submitted by Dumb Blonde
A blonde a burnet and red head are traped on top of a burning building some firemen at the bottom say to the burnet "jump its your only way to live"so she jumps and the firemen pull the sheet back and she splatters on the ground then they tell the red head to jump and and she said "no your just going to pull the sheet back "they say no we wont we just dont like burnet and soo she jumps they pull the sheet and she dies the they tell the blonde to jump and she says the only way ill jump is if you put the sheet down and back away from it.
Submitted by Dumb Blonde
One day, a blonde and a brunette were driving to a party and they were speeding because they were late.
"Watch out for cops," the brunette said.
They drove on for about five minutes when suddenly the blonde said nervously, "I think that's a cop behind us."
"Is it after us?" the brunette questioned.
"Er, um..." answered the blonde.
"Well, is it?" asked the brunette with a growing temper.
"I don't know..."
"Well are it's lights on?" insisted the brunette.
Replied the blonde, "Yes... no... yes... no... yes... no... yes... no..."
Submitted by Chelsea
A blonde was walking down the street with her blouse wide open.
The police goes over and tell her" excuse me do you know your blouse is open.
The blonde screams "OH MY GOD I LEFT MY BABY ON THE BUS."
Submitted by Ravishing Breast
Q: Why did the blonde feel sorry for her sister
A: Because her mother died
Submitted by Sweet
There was a blonde named Kelsey. Her arch enemy was a red-head named Jessica. Jessica was trying to annoy Kelsey by singing," I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes." When Jessica sang this to Kelsey 5 more times Kelsey said," Ok. Ok. Alright already. What's the song?"
Submitted by Annster.
A blonde went to the doctor's office and the
doctor said "How did you get a hole in your left hand?" The blonde replied, "I wanted to commit suicide so I took a gun and put it up to my chest, but then I thought'This will mess up my $3,000 boob job' So I put the gun up to my nose and thought 'This will mess up my $2,000 nose reconstruction.' So then I decided to put the gun to my ear. Now I'm afraid of noises so I put my left hand up to my other ear and pulled the trigger."
Submitted by Angel Baby 89.
There was a blonde, a brunette, and a red head in a truck. The brunette and the red head were in the cab and the blond was in the back. The truck goes off the cliff and into the water. The brunette and the red head go up to the surface. They wait about 5 minutes and finally the see bubbles and then the blonde. Hey asked the other two girls, what took you so long? She said I had to get the tailgate open.
Submitted by Zach.
Three blondes walk into a bar. You'd think one of them would have seen it...
Submitted by The Wise Becker.
Up in an apartment, a blonde had a gun to her head. When her husband walked in he asked "what the hell are you doing!" and she replied "shut up your next!"
Submitted by Kyle B.
A blonde and a lawyer are on a plane to LA.
The lawyer turns to the blonde and says lets play a game, I'll ask you a question and i you get it wrong you give me $5 and visa versa.
the blonde tired and wanting to get sleep said thanks but I'm going to pass.
the Laywer said how about if i get a question wrong I'll give you $500 and you'll only have to give me $5.
The blonde liked the idea and said ok
the lawyer asked what's the distance from the earth to the sun.
the blonde reached into her purse and said i don't know and handed him $5.
The lawyer said now its your turn.
the blonde asked what goes up on a hill with 4 legs and comes down with 3?
the lawyer didn't have a clue. He used the airplane phone to call his friends, used his laptop to search the Internet and after 1 hour he still didn't know so he gave the blonde $500.
He asked the blonde what the answer?
the blonde reached into her purse again and handed him $5.
Submitted by Jessica.
TA Blonde woman named Brand finds herself in dire trouble. Her business has gone bust and she's in serious financial straits. She's so desperate that she decides to ask God for help.
She begins to pray. . . "God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm gonad lose my house as well. Please let me win the Lotto."
Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it. Brandi again prays. . . "God, please let me win the Lotto!! I've lost my business, my house and I am going to lose my car as well." Lotto night comes and Brandi still has no luck.
Once again she prays. . . "My God, why have You forsaken me?? I've lost my business, my house, my car and my children are starving. I don't often ask You for help, I am a loyal servant to You. Oh Lord, PLEASE LET ME WIN THE LOTTO, THIS ONE TIME SO I CAN GET MY LIFE BACK IN ORDER!! PLEASE!!"
Suddenly, there is a blinding flash of light and the heavens above open to Brandi. Brandi is confronted by the voice of God himself. . .
"Brandi work with Me on this one. . . BUY A TICKET!!"
Submitted by Jameil.
This blonde was driving home one day on the highway when suddenly she saw a dead rabbit. She put on her brakes and screeched to a stop. Behind her were tons of other cars. She got out of her car and began asking all the people behind her if they had a can of hairspray. One person asked her why she had stopped and why she needed hairspray. The blonde told him to come to the front of her car. So he went to the front and saw a dead rabbit laying there. The person gave her a can of hairspray. The blonde replied, "Thank you." And the guy said, "Why do you need the hairspray?" The blonde sprayed it all over the rabbit and said, "The bottle says it revives dead hairs."
Submitted by Lea.
Q: Why did the blonde have to drink a hot pepsi?
A: Because she couldn't fit any ice into the bottle.
Submitted by Sweet Thang.
Did you hear about the blonde who hijacked a submarine?She demanded $200,000
and a parachute.
"I wish I can become really smart and find a way off this island". POOF! The
redhead immediatly build a boat out of twigs and vines and sailed off the island.
The brunette then approached the genie and said "I wish to be even smarter than
the redhead and find a way off the island". POOF! She started to collect rocks
and seashells and made a airplane and flew right off the island. Now very
excited, the blonde said to the genie "I want to be even smarter than those two
and find a way off this island. POOF! The blonde turned into a man and walked
across the bridge.
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could
see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act
together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me
to show it to you."
A blonde was woken up in the middle of the night to find her house alight. So she
went straight to the phone and called 911. When they asked how do you we get to
your house, she said "Duh...in the big red truck!"
Why do blonde woman use electric lawnmower's? So they can use the cord to find
ther way back!!!!!
Submitted by king of the world.
How do you regonize a blonde in school?
They are the only ones who erase their notebook when the teacher erases the board.
Submitted by Blonds R Smart
The blonde couldn't call 911 because she couldn't find the 11 button on the phone.
The blonde couldn't work at the pharmaceutical company because she couldn't fit the bottles in the typewriter.
The blonde got burnt bobbing for french fries.
The blonde couldn't go water skiing because she couldn't find a lake with a slope on it.
The blonde thought the capital of California was "C".
The blonde returned a scarf because she thought it was too tight.
The blonde tore off the side of her house that had a fireplace, and blew up her neighbors house because her gas fireplace wouldn't work.
The blonde asked for illegal drugs at the salvation army,the state prison, and at the hospital.
The blonde asked for directions to her neighbors house.
The blonde robbed a blind pauper because he looked like Bill Gates.
The blonde thought that Mardi Gras was a French wine.
The blonde went to Italy to see if she could buy the "lovely boot" she saw on the map.
Submitted by Kevin Jones
How do you sink a submarine full of blondes ?
Knock on the hatch
Submitted by Mike
One night we were having church when the lights went out. We were all looking around trying to find the problem when my Blond Aunt Debbie ran outside. In just a few short minutes she came running back inside the church and as serious as she could be, said, "Hey you guys my lights are working in my car.
Submitted by Boo Meade
Why do blondes like convertibles
More leg room
Submitted by Mike
There was a red head, brunette, and a blonde driving in a convertible car. They were driving to fast and flew over a gaurd rail and they landed in a river. The red head and the brunette float up to the surface. Why didn't the blonde?
-Her door was locked!
Submitted by Mike
There is a blonde who goes into a store and says "excuse me sir,can i buy that television?"The guy says "no,i don't sell anything to blondes." So the blonde goes home colours her hair red and goes back to the store. She says,"excuse me sir, can I buy that television?" He says,"i don't sell anything to blondes." So the blonde goes home,colours her hair pitch black and goes back. She says,"excuse me sir, can I buy that television?" He says," No I don't sell anything to blondes." She says,"how do u know i'm a blonde?" He says, "only a blonde would think a microwave is a T.V"
Submitted by Joke Queen
There was a man outside mowing his lawn. He lived next store to a blonde who had just gotten a computer. She went out to her mailbox to check the mail and went back in after she had done that 10 times the guy asked her why she kept coming back out side and she said my computer keeps telling me I have mail.
Submitted by Seh55z
A blonde, a red head, and a brunette were
having a breast stroke swimming contest to see who
the better swimmer was. It was a 5 mile race.
At the finish, the red head came first, then
the brunette, and finally, after two hours of
waiting, the blonde arrived. The red head and the
brunette asked what had taken her so long. She
replied, "Well, I don't want to be picky or
anything, but, I think you two were using you're
hands!"
Submitted by Sam-the-Man
One day a blonde decided to go ice fishing. So she packed up all her gear and headed for the nearest pond she could find. When she got there she started to cut a hole in the ice. Suddenly she heard a booming voice."There are no fish under the ice."
Suprised she turned around and saw no one. So she went back to cutting the hole. The booming voice popped in again,"There are no fish under the
ice!"
Again she turned around and saw no one. So she asked "Is that god?"
The booming voice said,"No this is the Ice Rink Manager."
Submitted by Courtney
A blonde dyed her hair to the color of a burnette because she wanted to seem smarter. One day she was driving down the road and saw a farmer. She said to him "if i can guess how man sheep you have can I have one?" He agreed. She guessed 150 and the farmer counted the sheep and she was right. As she was loading the sheep into the trunk the farmer said "if I can guess your real hair color can I have my dog back?"
Submitted by Cutiepie
How to keep a dumb blonde occupied:
Scroll down:
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Scroll Up
Submitted by Smartie
A blonde a redhead and a brunette are on a burning building and the firefighters are below them with a net they yell to the brunette "JUMP JUMP!" so she jumps. at the last minute the firefighters move out of the way and the brunette hits the ground and dies.
Then the firefighters yell to the redhead "JUMP JUMP" She yells back down "I SAW WHAT YOU DID TO MY FRIEND HOW CAN I TRUST YOU?" They yell back "TRUST US" so she jumps and the firefighters do the same thing.
Then the firefighters yell to the blonde, "JUMP JUMP" so she yells back "I SAW WHAT YOU DID TO MY FRIENDS SO I WANT YOU TO PUT THE NET DOWN ON THE GROUND AND BACK AWAY"
Submitted by Brunette
A blonde decided to commit suicide by hanging herself from a tree in the park. A few days later, a man was walking his dog and spotted her hanging from the tree. He asked the blonde what she was doing and she replied,"I'm hanging myself."Your supposed to put the noose around your neck not your waist." said the onlooker. "I already tried that," replied the blonde "but I couldn't breathe"
Submitted by Shannah
What does the blonde say when she walks up to the YMCA?
" Look they spelt MACYS wrong "
Submitted by Kristin from NY
I had decided to go shopping to get a gift for my wife. We were going to be taking a trip, and I knew that she would need a new swim suit. I had been to several stores, but could not find one that I knew she would wear. My wife is very modest. As I was headed home disappointed in not finding what I had been shopping for, I noticed a women's clothing store and decided to give it one last try. As I entered the store I was met by a very attractive blonde sales clerk. "Can I help you find anything special today sir?" I replied,
"Maybe you can. I'm looking for a swim suit for my wife. I know that she would prefer a one piece suit if you have them." The clerk looked a little puzzled....."Do you think that she would prefer the top or the bottom?"
Submitted by Andrew
This blonde was walking by a horse and decided to get it a try. So she hops on the horse and it starts going, she cant stop it she trys and trys. She grabs the mane but that only makes her fall to the ground. Just when shes about to have a concusion from hitting her head on the ground Billy the walmart greeting guy comes and unplugs the horse.
Submitted by ~divine~
One day a blonde was walking down the street. When a police officer stoped her and said miss did you realize that your blouse is open and your cleavage is hanging out. She replied oh my god I left the baby on the bus.
Submitted by Born a Blonde
What do you call a blonde behind a steering wheel.
Air bag.
Submitted by AI
A blonde and a redhead are walking down the street when the redhead says awww look at that dog with one eye so the blonde cover her left eye and looks.
Submitted by Drummerchick
What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
Run!!
She's got a hand grenade in her mouth.
Submitted by Player
There was a cow and it was fat and the blond goes oh no your fat you better get skinny. So the blond gets the milk pump and gets all the milk out then she fills the machine up with 1 percent then puts the machine in reverse and said to the cow now you won't be fat anymore.
Submitted by matdavbik4everhe11ya.
Q. How do you know a blonde has been using a dishwasher?
A.It's cloged up with paperplates.
Q.How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb?
A. 3 1 to find bulb 1 to find a ladder &1 to find a man.
Submitted by better than every 1 else.
There is a blonde driving a car, she swerves to the left then right, then left. Then a police officers pulls her over and asks what she is doing, and she says"I swerved to the left cause there was a tree on the right, then swerved to the right cause there was another tree so i swerved to the left" The police man says" Lady that's your air freshener.
Submitted by Natural Blond.
There were three woman at an American college eating lunch. There was a Russian, American, and a Blonde. They were all bragging about their countries.
The Russian said," We were the first in space."
The American said," We were the first on the moon."
The Blonde said," Well, we will be the first on the sun."
The Russian said," You cannot do that or you will burn up!"
"Duh! We'll go at night." the Blonde replied.
Submitted by Dirty Blond.
A blonde recieved an assignment from her special ed. science teacher. The assignment was what will happen after you pull all of the legs off of a grasshopper. So the blonde says jump grasshopper jump. And the grasshopper jumped. So she pulled off one leg and said jump grasshopper jump. And the grasshopper jumped. So she does this until she got down to the last leg. So she pulled it off. Then she said jump grasshopper jump. And the grasshopper didn't jump. so she wrote down on her piece of paper.
"They lose their hearing"
Submitted by Aaron A.
There were two blondes going hunting. It was getting late so one of the blondes said to the other that she heard if you ever get lost in the woods to shoot three shots into the air. So she did. A few hours went by and so she fired three more shots in the air. Afew more hours went by and they fired three more shots in the air. Then ont of the blondes said someone better hurry up and save us...we only have two more arrows left.
Submitted by Aaron A.
A a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde walked into a room which contained a mirror inside. If you talked to the mirror and told a lie, it would suck you up. If you told the truth, it would give you a wish.
The brunette went first. She said, "I think I'm the prettiest girl in the world." And the mirror sucked her up.
Then the redhead went. She said, "I think I'm the prettiest girl in the world." And the mirror sucked her up.
So then the blonde went. She said, "I think-" And the mirror sucked her up.
Submitted by The Only Smart Blond.
There was a blonde that was sick of people making fun of her. So she decided to prove to all people that blondes are not as dumb as what they think they are.
She studied all the capitals of the states ALL night long. She didn't even rest one bit. The next day, she spotted a couple a guys sitting down and walked up to them and she said," I bet you I can name all the capitals of the states," and he said, "OK", "What is the capital of California?"
She replied, " that's easy "C".
Submitted by angie.
A redhead a brunett and a blonde were in a car going to the park when a traffic cop pulls them over they begin to beg and cry for the officer to let them go finally He agrees if they each on can each one answer one simple qestion they agree so He ask the redhead what kind of sound does a dog make she thinks a minute and says bow wow bow wow so the cop says ok thats one down two to go so He ask the brunett how does a cat go after a cople of seconds shd replies meow meow the cop says ok one more so He looks and sees that the last lady is a blonde so He decieds to ask Her a simple question whats one plus one the blonde thinks for a couple of minutes and says two the surprise officer says ok Your free to go after a few minutes of being back on the road the redhead says I sure am glad I knew something about dogs the brunett says yea I'm sure glad I knew someting about cats the blonde say I'm just glad I had My caculator....
Submitted by Tracy.
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on an island. While walking along the beach one day they spot a lamp in the sand. They pick it up and rub and out pops a genie. He says,"I'll grant you each one wish. What is yours?" he asks the brunette.
"I'm sick of this island - I wish to go home," she answers. Poof! She disappears.
The genie then turns to the redhead. "What is your wish he asks?"
"I'm also sick of this island, so I wish to go home, too," she replies. Poof! She disappears.
Finally, the genie asks the blonde,"What is your wish?"
She answers,"Well, I'm very lonely now. I really wish my friends were still here..."
Submitted by The 14 year-old Blond Joke Queen.
There where these 3 blonde women that wanted to be policemen. So the blondes go into the police station for the job but first they have to pass a test. The first blonde goes in and the man asks her what she can tell about the suspect in the photo. (Note:The photo of the suspect is from the side.) So the blonde says "well he must be half blind since he only has one eye". The guy says no and that it is a side photo. So the next blonde comes in and says "well he must be hard of hearing because he only has 1 ear" The man says " no!!!, it is a side photo!!!!" So its the last blondes turn and she goes in there and looks at the photo. She says, "well, I believe that the suspect wears contacts. So the guy says, "well, I'm going to have to check on that". So he comes back and says "wow, how did you know the suspect wore contacts?" And the blonde replies, "well, it sure would be hard to buy glasses if you only have 1 eye and 1 ear"!
Submitted by Zakman.
A man hires a blonde to paint stripes down a road, but
she has to keep the contract and do at least four miles
each day. The first day, the blonde does 8 miles. The
boss is extremely impressed. The second day the blonde
does 4 miles. The boss is somewhat impressed, but not
as much as before. The third day, the blonde does two
miles. The boss thinks she is just having a bad day, so
he still lets her keep the job. The fourth day, the
blonde only does 1 mile. The boss asks, "You were doing
so well before. Why aren't you doing well now?!"
The blonde replies, "I can't get far because each day I'm
getting further and further away from the bucket."
Submitted by apollyon.
This blonde called her boyfriend and when he answered she started to pout and cry.
"Josh, I've been working on this dam puzzle for two days and one night, come over and help me."
"Here try it for one more day and call me tomorrow."
he says.
The next day she calls again and he replies...
"Try it one more time alright?"
next day...
"Come on just try it one more time and then I'll come."
The next day comes, Josh finally arrives at his g-friend's house. When she takes him to her kitchen he replies...
"Put your stupid corn-flakes away and go back to bed!"
Submitted by Kim-the blonde.
How
do you confuse a blonde?
Blue.
Submitted by Liz.
How
many blonde jokes are there?
One—the rest are all true!
Submitted by Keith.
What's
the difference between a blonde and a bottle of beer?
The beer won't get jealous when you have another!
Submitted by McDJG.
What
do you call a blonde with 90% of her intelligence gone?
Divorced.
Submitted by Izzo_Girl.
A
young blonde executive was leaving the office one evening when she noticed the
CEO standing in front of the shredder with a piece of paper in his hand. "Listen,"
said the CEO, "this is important, and my assistant has left for the day.
Can you make this thing work?" "Certainly," she replies, flattered
that the CEO had askedher for help. She turned the machine on, inserted the
paper, and pressed the START button. "Excellent!" replied the CEO,
"I'll need two copies."
Submitted by One Fine Piece of Ace.
A
blonde by the name of Julie was getting pretty desperate for money. So she decided
to go to the richer part of town and try to get a job as a handywoman. She rang
the doorbell at the first house she came to, and a man answered the door. She
asked if there were any odd jobs she could do, and he replied, "Well, actually,
we need the porch painted—how much do you want?" Julie said she felt
$50 was fair. He replied, "OK, the ladders, paint, and other tools you
need are in the garage." When the man closed the door, his wife, who had
overheard the conversation asked him, "$50?!? Does she realize that the
porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She must
have, she was standing right on it." About 45 minutes later, the doorbell
rings again, and the man is surprised to find Julie there. She tells him that
she's done, and states that she even had enough paint to do two coats. As the
man is reaching into his wallet to pay her, Julie says, "Oh, and by the
way, that isn't a Porsche—it's a Ferrari."
Submitted by Skinnyminnie44
A blonde gets in an elevator and sees a man standing
there. She tells him, "TGIF, sir," to which he replies, "S-H-I-T,
ma'am." Surprised, she replies, "Excuse me, I was just trying to be
nice —
T stands for 'Thank,'
G stands for 'goodness,'
I
stands for 'it's,' and
F stands for 'Friday.' The man replies, "
S
stands for 'Sorry,'
H stands for 'honey,'
I stands for 'it's,'
and
T stands for 'Thursday.'
Submitted by Pit Bull
One
day, a blonde, brunette, and redhead were walking along a beach. Suddenly, a
bird flies over and craps on the redhead. The blonde tells the brunette, "Quick,
go get some toilet paper!" The brunette replies, "By the time I get
back, the bird will be gone!"
Submitted by MiSs ThAng
A blonde
goes to Florida for some alligator boots. No matter which store she goes to,
she can't find the boots. A few days later a manager of one of the stores is
driving home at night and sees the blonde knee-deep in a swamp. All around her,
alligators are lying belly-up. The manager stops and watches the blonde. Suddenly,
the blonde grabs an alligator, wrestles it, and turns it over. She looks at
its feet and says, "Damn! This one isn't wearing boots either!"
Submitted by Mistress Diablo
What's the difference between
a rooster and a blonde?
The rooster says "cock-a-doodle-doo!", and the blonde says, "Any
cock'll do!"
Submitted by Amy
Why don't blondes know how to write the number "11"?
They don't know which "1" comes first!
Submitted by Kristi
Why did the blonde stop using the pill?
It kept falling out!
Submitted by Tyler
Q:How does a blond kill a fish?
A:She drowns it
Q:how does a blond kill a bird?
A:she throws it off a cliff
Submitted by pingu
There was a blond, a brunette, and a redhead riding in a car, and they ran a
stop sign and a cop started chasing them. So they got a little farther ahead
and saw three burlap bags lying in the ditch. They stopped the car and each
of them got into one of the bags. Now, the cop caught up with them and saw the
empty car and the three bags. So he went up to the bag with the brunette in
it and kicked it. The brunette said "meow, meow", and the cop said, "oh, there's
a kitty in this bag. And he kicked the one with the redhead in it and she said,
"arf, arf", and the cop said aw, there's a puppy in this bag. Finally, he went
up to the bag with the blond in it and kicked it and she said, "potato"
Submitted by Jenni
A Blonde girl goes to work one day crying because she found out her mom had
just died. Her boss asks her 'What's wrong?? Why are you crying??'. She replies
'I just found out that my mom passed away'. The Boss decides to let her have
the day off but she insists on working so that she can keep her mind off her
mom. A few hours later her boss decides to check on her and he goes in to her
office and see's her crying histerically. He asks again 'Why are you crying??'
she says 'My sister called saying that her mom died too'.
Submitted by AV
This brunette walked into this shoe store for blondes and she noticed that TGIF
was on all the shoes, she walked up to the sales clerk and said Gee, blondes
must really like Fridays! The clerk said why do you say that? The brunette said
because TGIF is on all the shoes! The clerk said Nope that stands for TOES GO
IN FIRST!!!
Submitted by Evelyn K.
A painting contractor was speaking to a woman about a job. She sad she wanted
the first room a pale blue. He wrote it down, went to the window opened it and
yelled "GREEN SIDE UP." They walked into the second room and she said she wanted
it a soft yellow color. He wrote that down, went to the window opened it and
yelled, "GREEN SIDE UP." The woman was curious but didn't say anything. They
walked into the third room and she said she wanted a warm rose color. The painter
wrote that down and went to the window and opened it, he yelled "GREEN SIDE
UP." Finally the woman asked, "why do you keep yelling that out the window?"
"I'm sorry," he replied, "but I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the
street.
Submitted by Ginsing
There were three people traped on an island: a blond,a brunette,and a redhead.
The redhead looked across the water and estimates the distance to be about 20
miles, so she announces that she is going to try to swim across. She swims 5
miles and gets tired. She swims 5 more before she gets to tired and drowns.
The brunette thinks to herself, "I wonder if I can make it." Out loud she says,
"I guess it's better than staying here to starve." So she tries to swim out.
She has more endurance than the redhead and she swims 10 miles before she's
even tires. She swims 5 more before she drowns.
The blond says, "I wonder if they made it? I guess I better try." So she swims
5,10,19 miles! Just 1 mile from shore she says, "I'm just too tired!" So she
turns around and swims back.
Submitted by bf's
Q. How did the blonde almost die?
A. She was riding a horse and she started to hit her head on the ground so the
k-mart manager shut off the merry-go-round.
Submitted by Peppy Cheerleader
Why does a blonde drive a BMW?
Cuz she can spell it...
Submitted by Sven "Joker" Jacobs
A Blond goes to a company party and wins a thermos for the doorprize. she asks
her co-worker, "What's a thermos?"
He says "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
"Oh!" The next day at work, she brings it with her. Her boss, who is also a
blond, says "What's that?"
The Blond says "It's a thermos." Her boss asks her, "What's that?"
She says "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." Her boss asks her,
"What do you have in it?"
The blond says, "Two cups of coffee and a pop-sickle."
Submitted by Missy
Q:What do you call a blonde holding a balloon
A:Siamese twins
Submitted by Road Dog
How Do You Confuse A Dumb Blond?
Put Her In A Room Shaped Like A Circle And Say Go Sit In The Corner..
Whats The Difference Between A Dumb Blond And A Dead Shunk On The Road?
The Skunk Has Skid Marks In Front Of It..
Submitted by King Shawn
A blonde and a brunette were walking through the wood when they found a set
of tracks. The blonde said "Look at those deer tracks." The brunette said "those
aren't deer tracks. They are moose tracks." They were still arguing about it
two hours later when the train hit them.
Submitted by bald as a cue ball
Why didn't the blonde change her babys diaper for a month?
Because the package said good for up to one month.
Submitted by Brewdog
A blonde was walking on the opposite of the river from a brunette.
The brunette yells across to the blonde, "Hey, how do I get to the other side?"
The blonde hesitates, looks back and replies, "You ARE on the other side!"
Submitted by Barbie "Barbwire"
How is a blonde like a a bottle?
They're both empty from the neck up
Submitted by smart blonde
A blonde is at the library, she opens a book and says "what are these funny
markings on the paper?"
The librarian says, "Words."
Blonde: do you have any picture books?
Librarian: Why?
Blonde: I can't tell what the "w u r d s" mean.
Librarian: Oh, well we have the children books.
Blonde: No.
Librarian: We have books with pictures of guys.
Blonde: All I have to do to see guys is flip up my mini skirt and wait for a
while and they come to my door.
Submitted by Jason R.007
What's the difference between a Doberman pinscher and a blonde with PMS?
Lipstick.
Submitted by
1 night at a local bar a brunett,a redhead,and a blonde walked in and ordered
a drink.The readhead walked in and asked the bartender"Can I have an rw?"The
bartender asked "What the hell is an rw?"she replyed"Red Wine,DUH."So she drank
and left.Then the brunette walked in and ordered a ww.The bartender asked what
that was and she replyed "DUH White Wine."Then the blonde walked in and ordered
a 15 .The bartender asked what that was and she replyed "Duh a 7 and 7!
Submitted by nyboy86
A blonde goes in to apply for a job and she fills out an application. She takes
it up to the man and he says you forgot three blanks. He asks how old are you,
so she counts on her fingers and finaly reaches 22, okay then how tall are you
so she tries to messure herself she says 5'2, okay then what is your name, she
nodes her head back and forth for a few seconds and says Jenifer. He said, "Okay
I get how you got your age and your height, but how you you get your name by
noding your head back and forth?" She replies, "I was singing 'Happy
birthday to you, Happy birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear Jenifer...'"
Submitted by peppy
Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: Set her down at a Macintosh computer, and tell her to right click on something.
Submitted by Spike
Q:How did the blonde die while drinking milk?
A:The cow fell on her.
Submitted by nolan
Q: Why did the blonde tip toe past the medicine cabinet?
A: Because she didn't want to wake up the sleeping pills.
Submitted by Marta Komadowski
There were a blonde and a brunette driving and the brunette goes to the blonde,
"Go check my blinker!"
"Does it work?"
Blonde:
"Yes"
"No"
"Yes"
"No"
Submitted by Nehcterg
There was a blonde who walked into a hair salon to get her hair done. she
said to the man "Please, I would like you to perm my hair, I'm getting sick
of it!" "Alright ma'm said the hair dresser, "but I need you to take off your
headphones first"
"No I can said the blonde "I have to keep them on" "Fine said the man. So
he did the perm then the lady left. About two months later, the lady comes
back in asking for her hair to be highlighed. The man said okay but she would
have to take off the headphones. But she insisted that she keep them on.
The man did her hair then put her under the dryer. About 10 minutes later,
she was fast asleep. The man was curious as to why the headphones were so
important. So he took them off her head and she stoped breathing. He put the
headphones on and the tape said "Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in breathe
out...."
Submitted by Mackenzie
Three Blondes sitting at a bar. The were all chanting over and over "51
days...yes....51 days"...They were all so happy with each other. The
bartender was starting to become a bit curios when this occured for quite
a period of time.
He asked "You have been sitting here for 3 hours and all you say is
51 days...tell me why would three young ladies be sitting at a bar chanting
51 days ?"
"Well," replied on the girls, "today we completed a jigsaw
puzzle that took us 51 days"
"So!" replied the bartender.
"Well...on the box it says 3 - 5 years !"
Submitted by Amy
How can you tell if a blonde is having a bad day??
She can't find her pencil and her tampon is behind her ear!
Submitted by Alyak
Q: How do you know that a fax came from a blonde??
A: There is a stamp on it.
Submitted by Maria
A blonde walks up to a Coke machine and puts in a coin. Out pops a Coke.
The blonde looks amazed and runs away to get some more coins. She returns
and starts feeding the machine madly and of course the machine keeps feeding
out drinks.
Another person walks up behind the blonde and watches her antics for a few
minutes before stopping and her and asking if someone else could have a go.
The blonde spins around and shouts: "Can't you see I'm winning?!"
Submitted by Wizard 0411
What do you do if a blond throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back!
Submitted by James
Q: One day the Social Studies teacher asked a blonde to name all the capitals
in the United States Of America.
A: The blonde said easy U.S.A.
Submitted by K.L.F & D.A.R.
Q. What does a U.F.O and an intellegent blonde have in common?
A. You always hear about them... but you never see them!
Submitted by EDJ
What is it when you hear this:
vroom. screach. vroom. screach. vroom. screach.?
A blonde at a blinking stoplight.
Submitted by Heather
Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead?
She was trying to make up her mind!!!
Submitted by Ace
A blonde was going to Paris and she had a coach seat. When she got on the plane
she sat in first class. A stewardess came and told her to go into coach she
said she didn't have to. Another stewardess came and said if she didn't go in
coach she would get the co-pilot. She said she wouldn't move. The co-pilot came
and whispered something in her ear and she got up and went to coach. The other
two asked how he did it and he said he told her this part of the plane wasn't
going to Paris.
Submitted by Nick
BLOND INVENTIONS
1. The solar power flashlight
2. Dehydrated water
3. Fireproof matches
Submitted by HAPPY:o)
How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree?
Wave to her.
What was she doing there in the first place?
Raking leaves
How do you make a group of blonde's commit mass suicide?
Put mirrors at the bottom of a pool.
Submitted by Kellogg Krew
Q. How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Who knows it has never been done!!!!!!!
Submitted by P.O.'d Brunnetts
Fifteen minutes into the flight from Kansas City to Toronto, the captain announced,
"Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed. There is nothing
to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled, but we still
have three engines left."
Thirty minutes later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed
and the flight will take an additional two hours. But don't worry ... we can
fly just fine on two engines."
An hour later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and our
arrival will be delayed another three hours. But don't worry ... we still have
one engine left."
A young blonde passenger turned to the man in the next seat and remarked, "If
we lose one more engine, we'll be up here all day!"
Submitted by Hugh
There were three blondes: Mindy, the smartest, Lindy, semi-smart and Candy,
really dumb. They were spies. They were in Russia when they got caught. At Mindy's
execution they said: any last words. So she said tornado,tornado! The soldiers
left and Mindy went home.
On lindy's execution day they said the same thing and she said hurricane, hurricane!
Lindy joined Mindy back home.
On Candy's execution day they also said the same thing and she answered: fire,fire!
so they fired and killed her!
Submitted by Allie
Q:Why did the blonde throw a puppy on a bun & in the microwave?
A:She wanted a hotdog.
Submitted by Krovak
A blonde and a brunette are sitting in a bar and watching the 11:00 P.M. news.
A man is standing on the ledge of a high-rise building, contemplating suicide.
The brunette says to the blonde: "I'll bet you $20.00 that the man jumps
off that building and commits suicide."
The blonde thinks for a moment then replies: "OK, you're on!"
They watch for a few minutes and sure enough, the man jumps off the ledge. The
blonde sighs and reaches for her wallet, but the brunette stops her, saying:
"I can't take your money - I feel too guilty. I have to confess that I
watched the 6:00 P.M. news this evening and I knew that the man would jump.
The blonde replied: "Oh! I watched the 6:00 P.M. news too, but I didn't
think he'd jump off again!"
Submitted by INTELLIGENT BLONDE
Q)What did the blonde do when she broke her tuperware?
A) Called the plastic surgeon.
Submitted by Jered
Bored and Blonde? Go to the mall !!
Walk up to two people sitting a bench and say, "I'm a Doctor, I need
to know what time it is." After one tells you, turn to the other and
say, "Would you be willing to give ME a second opinion on THAT?"
Stop at the Athletic Shoe Store, and ask the clerk, "What is the
largest size of men's basketball shoes you carry?" Then, ask him sheepishly,
"Could I leave my card, and a note for whoever buys them?"
Wearing a walkman, head into Radio Shack and tell them, "Today, I'm
looking for a shack."
Ask the clerk at Fanny Farmer to see either one, and mumble something
about false advertising on the way out.
Stand in front of a Victoria's Secret show window with a clipboard. Stop
various men, point to a really skimpy item, and ask, "If I was willing
to model that for you, would you buy it for me?"
Go into the Armed Services Recruiting Office, and ask if you could set
up a desk - just to talk to the rejects.
In the Athletic Wear Store, ask the clerk a question about a particular
sweat suit, like, "How much sweat do you think this one will this soak
up if I'm really HOT?"
Go into the Earring Store and ask if they pierce other places, like nipples.
If they say yes, tell them, "I'll be right back, I just need to go
out to the car and get my pregnant pit bull."
Walk into the Jewelry Store, and while unbuttoning your blouse, ask loudly,
"How many varieties of nipple rings do you carry?"
In the Sports Collectibles Store, ask, "Do you have nude autographed
photos of Dennis Rodman?" If not, ask "Would you take some on
consignment?"
Ask the security guard why the "Seeing Eye Dogs Only" sign isn't
printed in braille. And, "If I'm not blind, but I brought along my
sister's Seeing Eye Dog, would that be OK?"
In the Barbeque Grill Store, ask the clerk if he's got a small one, because,
"I'm on my way to the movies and think the concession stand choices
are too limited."
The Warner Brothers Store will appreciate you walking in, and asking questions
in your best, "P-P-Porky P-P-Pig V-V-Voice."
The Disney Store may wonder whether you are a little too old if you walk
in without children, ask for a Mouseketeer Application, and say, "I've
been looking for an autographed pair of Cubby's shorts!"
On a really smooth area of the mall floor, while wearing your old leather-soled
slippers, clasp your hands behind your back and walk-slide like you are
ice skating.
In the Formal Wear Store, ask, "Do you rent tuxedos for funerals?"
Then ask, "How do you get them back?"
In the Linen Department, ask, "Do you have Turkish Towels - from
Turkey?"
At the Hamburger Stand, ask, "Are the hamburgers are made of real
ham?" And, like, "Why do they go all the way to France to get
fries?"
In the Music Store, ask for a CD of "Negro Spirituals Played As Duets
On The Accordian By Buddhist Monks."
In the Auto Department, ask, "Do I really need to bring the car in
to take advantage of the oil change special, fellas?"
The Card Store clerk will appreciate the question, "What kind of
card do you recommend for the terminallly ill?"
Ask the Travel Agent what a round trip to Anchorage would cost, with a
stop-over in Fargo. After ten or fifteen minutes, stand up and say, "I've
changed my mind, I think I'll winter in my own home town," and leave.
In the Cutlery Store, point to a particluar knife, then ask, "Is
this like the one Norman Bates used?" Smile broadly, and ask the clerk,
"By the way, are YOU single?"
Over at the Garden Department, ask, "Do you have any of those Half-Bathtubs
used as a surround for religious statues?"
In the Swim Suit Department, tell them you are concerned this suit might
shrink, but you really like it. Then ask, "If I filled my pool with
Dry Ice, could I swim without getting wet?"
Go into the Piano Store, and ask, "If I bought one for Christmas,
could you wrap it up so I can't remember what it is when you deliver it?"
Walk into the Cinnamon Bun store, and tell them, "I really like the
taste, but I'm wondering if there isn't a way to get one without that awful
smell?"
In Starbucks Coffee, order some coffee ice cream.
At Taco Bell, ask them, "Which way is the border?" Then run.
In the Shoe Repair Store, ask if they have anything unclaimed in a man's
size 9, and, if they do, ask, "What would you take for just the left
one?"
At Christmas time, wait in the line to have "Kids Pictures Taken
With Santa." When you reach the head of the line, look around frantically
and start yelling, "Johnny, Johnny, where's my Johnny?" as you
begin running around the mall.
Go into the Poster Store, and tell them, "I'm pretty sure you've
hung a couple of the ones in the Modern Art section upside down."
Ask the Luggage Store clerk, "Geez, wouldn't it just be cheaper for
me to mail my stuff to Cleveland?" Then, tell him, "Could I use
the dressing room to see whether my clothes will all fit into this one?"
At Mrs. See's Candies, strike up a an extremely detailed conversation
about how eating chocolate made your face AND your back break out, and how
much money you spent at the dermatologist over the years, not to mention
the hours you spent washing blouses, but, you just can't seem to give it
up.
In the Fishing Department, ask the clerk, "Is it OK to use a fish
scaler on my heels and corns?" If you get a positive answer, begin
to remove your shoes and pantyhose.
In the Men's Department, walk up to a total stranger, and ask him to model
boxer shorts for you. When he goes into the dressing room, tell the department
manager there is a man walking around in his underwear, and leave.
In the Mattress Department, ask the shyest male clerk to to lie on a mattress
with you, both as close to the center as possible, and tell him, "There
might be something in it for you, if I can get a discount."
Ask a salesperson in the hardware department at Sears, "Just how
well do you think this chainsaw may cut through bone? And, by the way, are
YOU single?"
Answer any unattended service phones you hear ringing in department stores
by saying, "Domino's - please hold." Then, set the handset down,
and walk away.
Try on flea collars at the pet store while occasionally pausing to scratch
yourself. Also ask, "Are these are the only colors you have?"
Come back to the pet store a little later with one of those "invisible
dog leashes." Ask the clerk to bring you a dog "that would fit."
While waiting, teach the parrots on display "a few new words."
Wear your pink Nikes. At the bottom of an escalator, scream, "MY
SHOELACES! AAAUUGH!"
Show department store clerks your driver's license when your hair was
still brown, and demand to know, "Have you seen this woman here, today?"
Place plastic vomit on several tables in the Food Court. Stagger around
with one hand clamped over your mouth, and one clenching your stomach. This
often changes male fantasies about blondes.
Walk over to the coin fountain, splash water on your face, pick up a penny,
and yell, "Look what I found! It must be my lucky day!"
Submitted by The Undertaker
Every time this blonde touched her shoulder, it hurt. Every time she touch her
thigh, it hurt. Everywhere she touched with her finger it hurt!
So she went to the doctor and asked what is the matter.
The docter asked if she was a natural blonde and she said yes. The doctor stated
to the blonde that she had a broken finger.
Submitted by Diana
Ok, there's this blonde who wants to buy a TV, so she goes down to the electronics
store and tells the salesman, "Sir, I want to buy this TV." And the
salesman goes, "We don't sell to blondes."
So she goes home and dies her hair brown. The next day she comes back, and says
to the salesman. "Sir, I want to buy this TV." The salesman says,
"I'm sorry, we don't sell to blondes."
So she goes back home and shaves off her hair and puts on a baseball cap. Later
that day she goes back to the electronics store. Once more she says, "Sir,
I am going to buy this TV." This time the salesman says, "Look ma'm,
I told you, we can't sell to blondes!" The blonde says, "Gosh, I dyed
my hair then shaved it! How do you know I am a blonde?"
The salesman: "This is a microwave."
Q: What is 500 ft. long and has an IQ of 40?
A: A blonde parade!
Submitted by JAP
Q) Whats the difference between a blonde and a 747?
A) Not everyone has been inside a 747
Submitted by Matt Smith
A man is standing in the street saying 19,19,19,19.
Then this blonde comes and asks him what he is doing he doesn't answer he just
keeps saying 19,19,19,19.
So the blonde says well I guess I'll join you. So now there both saying 19,19,19,19.
Then this huge semi comes by and just runs over the blonde.
Then the man starts saying 20,20,20,20.
Submitted by The Anti-Blonde
Q: Why did the blonde smile everytime there was a flash of lightning?
A: She though someone was taking her picture.
Submitted by Viper
Q: Why do Blondes wear Pony-Tails?
A: To hide the Air Valve!
Submitted by Matt Smith
A blonde and a brunette are walking down the street. The brunette says, "Look,
a dead bird."
The blonde looks up and says, "Where!!"
Submitted by Cameron
Two blondes were driving through Louisiana. As they were approaching Natchitoches,
they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and
forth until they stopped for lunch.
As they stood at the counter, one blonde asked the manager, "Before we
order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce
where we are,...very slowly?"
The manager leaned over the counter and said, "Burrrrrrrr- gerrrrrrr Kiiiiing.
Submitted by David Grant
Q: What goes blonde.....brunette....blonde....brunette.....blonde.....brunette?
A: A blonde doing a cartwheel.<
Submitted by Cherry
Q: What do you call a pimple on a Blonde's butt?
A: Brain Tumor
Q: What's the advantage of marrying a blonde?
A: You get to park in the handicapped zone.
Submitted by Greg
Q. How do you confuse a blonde?
A. Put her in a round room and tell her to pee in the corner.
Q. What to you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear?
A. A wind tunnel
Q. What do you call 4 blondes lying next to each other?
A. An air-matteress
Submitted by Funny Man
Q. How do you drown a blonde?
A. Put a scratch and sniff sticker on the bottom of a pool.
Submitted by Fudge Monkey
Q: What do you call a blond at the bottom of a pool?
A: An air bubble
Submitted by Jes
There are 3 women who are in the army; A Blonde, Brunette and Redhead and their
general asks them if they went into the desert and could only take one thing,
what would it be?
Well the Brunetter says I would take an umbrella so I wont get hot. The General
says ok that is good.
The Redhead says I would take a watermellon because I could eat it and drink
the juices on it too. The General says ok that is good.
Then he asks the Blonde what she would take and she says " I would take
a car door" The General says, "Why in the heck would you take a car
door??"
The Blonde says, "So if I get hot I can roll down the window."
Submitted by Acid Monkey
Q: How do you kill a blonde?
A: Put spikes on her shoulder pads!
Q: What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?
A: Frosted flakes!
Q: How do blonde braincells die?
A: Alone!
Q: Have you heard about the new shirts made just for blondes?
A: They come with an instruction manual. LEFT ARM,RIGHT ARM, HEAD,FRONT,BACK.<
Submitted by w.z
There is a blonde and a brunette that want to commit suicide, so they climb
up the Eiffel tower. The brunette jumps off, and the blonde goes to somebody
and asks how do you get down.
Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
A: Gifted!
Submitted by M.M
Q. What do you call a dead blonde in a closet?
A. Last year's hide and seek winner.
Submitted by ck scotty
Q: What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
A: I wonder if it's mine!
Submitted by Brian B.
Q. Why can't blondes make Kool-Aid?
A. Because they can't figure out how to fit 2 quarts of water into that little
package.
Submitted by Joe Mom
Q. How do you make a dumb blonde laugh on Thursday?
A. Tell her a joke on Tuesday!
Submitted by Pup
Q. How do you make a blonde's eye twinkle?
A. Shine a flashlight in her ear.
Submitted by Jawn H.
Q. There are three girls, all in grade 3: one a brunette, one a redhead, and
one blonde. Which one of them has the best body?
A. The blonde, because she's 19.
Submitted by Jess
Two blondes went to the market. While they were there, the each bought a horse.
When they got home, they discussed how to tell their horses apart. They decided
to cut the tail off of one. That worked for a while, but soon the tail grew
back, so they decided that they would break one of the horses' legs. One of
the blondes said, "Which of the horses should we break the leg off of,
the brown one or the white one?"
Submitted by Alissa
Q. How do you measure a blonde's I.Q.?
A. With a tire gauge.
Submitted by Me
Q. What do you call two blondes behind a steering wheel?
A. Dual Airbags
Submitted by Joshua D-H
Q. What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
A. Wow! Donut seeds!
Submitted simultaneously by Snot and Haze
Q. How do you confuse a dumb blonde?
A. You give her a bag of M&M's and tell her to alphabetize them!
Q. How did the dumb blonde get fired from the M&M company?
A. She threw away all the ones that said "w" on them!
Submitted by Madison T.
Q. How did the blonde burn her nose?
A. She was bobbing for french fries.
Submitted by Juliana M.
A blonde was driving from NY to FLA. She saw a sign that read "clean restrooms."
By the time she got to Georgia, she'd already cleaned 120!
Submitted by Daffy Duck
Q. How do you know a blonde has been using the computer?
A. There is cheese in front of the mouse!
Submitted by Balooh
Q. What do a bleached blonde and a 747 have in common?
A. They both have a black box.
Submitted by B. Searcy
Q. What do you call a Volkswagon full of blondes?
A. Farfromthinkin
Submitted by Takara
Q. What do you call a fly, flying in a blonde's head?
A. A space invader.
Submitted by Jamie Y.
Q. What strikes a blonde and she doesn't even know it?
A. A thought.
Submitted by Fariha T.
Q. Why did the blonde drive around the block 28 times?
A. Her right turn signal was stuck.
Submitted by Suvan S.
There were three people who escaped from prison: a blonde, a redhead and a brunette.
They ran into the forest where there were three trees. The brunette took the
first tree, the redhead took the second tree, and the blonde took the third
tree. The cops came and looked up into the first tree and said, "I think
there is someone up there." Then they heard an owl sound. "No, that's
just an owl." They went to the second tree and thought someone was up there
too. Then they heard a squirrel sound. The police said, "No, that's just
a squirrel." They went to the third tree and said someone was up there.
Then the blonde made a cow sound.
Submitted by Mia
Q. Why did the blonde bury her walkman?
A. Because the batteries were dead.
Submitted by Drew
Q: What do you call a brunette between 2 blondes?
A: An interpreter!
Q: What do you call a blonde between 2 brunettes?
A: An air pocket!
Submitted by George Bogorad
Q. How do you change a blonde's mind?
A. Blow into her hear
Submitted by Renee
Q. Why did the blonde have square boobs?
A. She forgot to take the Kleenex out of the box.
Q. Why was the blonde sitting on a roof?
A. She heard the drinks were on the house
Submitted by Nicole
Q. If a blonde and a brunette were walking down the road and fell off a cliff,
who would hit the ground first?
A. The brunette. The blonde has to ask for directions.
Submitted by Nick S.
Q. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a smart blonde, and a dumb blonde are walking
down the street. They find a 100 dollar bill. Who picks it up?
A. The dumb blonde, because the other ones don't exist!
Submitted by Jamie
Q. How do you know when a blonde is making chocolate cookies?
A. There are M&M shells all over the place.
Submitted by Preston Boyd
Q. Why did the blonde jump out the window?
A. To see if her Ultra Panty-Liners with Wings could fly.
Submitted by The Sapling
Q. What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?
A. Pregnant
Submitted by Cheese Whiz
Q. Why does it take blondes so long to make frozen orange juice?
A. Because the label says "concentrate."
Submitted by Ryan "Ace" Knipe
Q. Why did the blonde climb over the glass wall?
A. To see what was on the other side.
Submitted by A. Sperrazzah
Q. What does a blonde say after she graduates from college?
A. "Hi, welcome to McDonalds."
Submitted by Runvs95
Q. What do you call a blonde that dyes her hair brunette?
A. Artificial intelligence.
Submitted by Cyberthug
Q. How do you amuse a blonde for hours?
A. Type "please turn over" on both sides of a piece of paper.<
Submitted by Chris H., the Rakster
A blonde, a brunette, a moviestar, the pope, and a pilot were in a plane. The
plane was going down, and there were only 4 parachutes. So the pilot took one
and jumped, then the moviestar took one and jumped, and then the blonde took
one and jumped. Since there was only one parachute left, the pope told the brunette
to take the last one. The brunette said, "There are still 2 parachutes
left...the blonde took my backpack and jumped."
Submitted by Ray G.
Q. What do you call a smart blonde?
A. A golden retriever
Submitted by David D.
Q: How do you know when a blonde has been using the computer?
A: There is whiteout on the monitor.
Q: How do you know when another one was using the same computer?
A: There is writing on the whiteout
Submitted by Dougie
A blonde is driving along the freeway en route to DisneyWorld. She is very close
to the exit to the theme park when she notices the sign stating "DISNEYWORLD
LEFT."
So she turned around and went home.
Submitted by tweety pie
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